JOURNEY OF 55 DAYS

On a fine Sunday for others, and a deadly day for me and my family,

I was carried with tears and words of consolation to the hell I call “hospital”

Every time I was carried to there, I used to scream, fight with my loving ones……

This time I was lying in silent, with pain getting worse every moment!!!

After vigorous checkups from world’s best doctors, they confirmed condition as serious…..

In no time all the eyes of my loving one’s flooded with tears, and lips with prayers

I felt them but I was unable to say them that “I will be back”!!!

Dialysis after dialysis, blood piercing into body, regular intervals of injections………

My time table was made of all this, and it made me isolated saying “under observation”

I lied there sometimes unconscious, sometimes in forceful medicated sleep,

Time passed, and “under observation” word got its worth, with this started 5^th day of my calendar!!

Highly qualified scientific gods given their final verdicts

"body is not responding to medicines……

Heart is getting weaker; blood count level is down….

And as usual blood pressure to the worst”

Suddenly the isolated world of mine, was covered with doctors, nurses, my family and the priest…….

I was all tried, not able to speak, eyes getting closed and the complete body was in deep pain……..

My mom came close to me and asked how you are feeling; from the mask of oxygen she read my lips

“Saying I m fine”……and she went out in tears followed by others!!!

Doctors said me to cheer up and to fight with a positive hope, to be optimist toward life…….

Everyone was forced to smile by the time to make me feel how important I m for them and myself

Priest said me “child you have reason to live this life, see to the world around you, praying for you”

but my eyes only missed my mom who didn’t come back,

followed by question asked in low speech, through eyes to my dad......"mom"????

He was only sitting with his lips closed holding my hand and looking at me when others came and gone

Doctors went away saying if you won’t fight then we are helpless, we can save you if you can love you

I felt nothing, expect a breathe of freshness when everyone made their way out…….

My dad was still sitting; I just looked to him and smiled, and closed my eyes, as I need to sleep

finally he said one sentence which kept me awake for all further days

“May be we didn’t loved you the way you wanted otherwise you wouldn’t have killed yourself for someone’s love………..

I just pray that let my heart don’t hate and curse that person, when you will close your eyes

With this he moved away, I just looked him, tears rolled down, unable to wipe it, I laid helpless…….

I have seen a lot of downs of life but never painful as the words said by my dad……

In every fall he stood with me, with more care and support, with a blind trust……….

Finally I was again called selfish, but this time by the heart who ever loved me selflessly!!!

From 6^th day started, new dimensions of treatment, in one by one step to recovery……..

And again started my fight to live, to survive, I forced my heart to live……….

As I don’t want a heart to cry in pain who is loving me with all his might……..

And a heart to be cursed who loved me once with all his reasons!!!!!

With a positive response, 15 days of dialysis came down to medicines………

From three time injections to a single time daily dose………..

From saline and glucose to light weighted foods and drinks……..

With this completed my complete 21 days…..and I was again able to feel myself with less pain

Body showed its response, now time for the blood cells to move their way………….

Again started a routine of vigorous checkups, tests, scanning and torn out skin recovering……..

One by one relative moved their way, giving me well wishes and my family a moral support

Left back with my parents, my brother packed his bags for hostel wishing a soon recovery………

Finally after 10 days of treatment, I felt back bit of my skin smoothness again,

with this One month passed away……

Discharged from hospitals for a week, to see the world that I haven’t seen for past three months…..

Again felt the sunshine, enjoyed the dawn of sun, cold breezes of Chennai beach…………..

I missed my friends, as all were so close to me there but something stopped me from sharing my things out

Time passed in the hotel room with my books, TVs, evening outings with my parents…..

Again back to hospital, this time to the world of psychiatrist…………

A mental therapy started for 15 days, with a class of “positivity in life”…….

Days continued with strict diets, medicines, exercise, meditation……….

And finally my body showed a complete recovery and a breathe of relief………

Finally left with 1 dialysis in a gap of week, doctors freed me from medicines……….

With that showed my body with perfect blood count and normal pressure to lead a new life!!!

So completed my 55 days in Chennai, with my air tickets to my home town, I said goodbye!!!

A journey which I never want to repeat………..

But I want to hold its memory for my whole life, to see how extent life turned bad for me

And how extent my heart loved some people, that it decided its fate on their verdicts!!!!

With all this life taught me one thing that to forever……

No one stands with you in your odd time except the two hearts who gave you birth…….

Every heart will turn stone when you need them, expect two hearts that will bleed for your pain……

“I ATTRIBUTE MY NEW LIFE TO THE TWO SOUL WHO HAVE AGAIN GIVEN ME BIRTH TO LIVE FOREVER”